As I was wishing that I could afford to hire a housekeeper to help with the many things I can’t seem to ever get done fast enough, I’ve decided that I need a wife! I need someone who will cook, clean, shop, pay bills, do dishes and laundry. It would be nice have some help with the children, and especially drive them where they need to be. I’ll just play Mommy when it’s convenient, help them with their homework and tuck them in bed and night. Then I’ll spend the rest of my time working and writing. Think of all the novels I could write if I could do it full time! Maybe I could be a best-selling author. Hey, it could happen.
In return for my housewife’s hard work, I’ll give her a home, food, pay for her medical and dental bills, tell her she’s beautiful, mention that I appreciate everything she does, and take her out once or twice a month. Every once in a while, I’ll let her buy herself a new outfit or something, too. I’d never miss her birthday, or our anniversary, or Valentine’s day. Of course, my orientation I'm straight, so it would have to be a purely platonic relationship. And I’d have to make sure she understands that my husband is strictly off-limits.
Do you think it would be bigamy to have a husband and a wife?
Or a fairy godmother would work nicely, too.
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